I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
