so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
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I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize