Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
tell me about the fingering
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
