There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize