go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize