She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
