Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
