:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
