I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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