Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.