He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
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She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
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Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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