Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
