dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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