Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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