No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize