Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
