i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
