I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
