What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize