Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize