If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
