plz talk dirty to me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
