Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
