If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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