I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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