I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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