69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
