i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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