I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Can you bring me the toilet please
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
