I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
