I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
