im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
