Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
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my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
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I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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