Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
