this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize