"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
