I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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