People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
