I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
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You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
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I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Still dying that you shit outside
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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