found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize