that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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