Your tits are I can't wait for
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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