paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
