you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I supernannyed him into submission
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
