drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
