If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
soo... how was my night?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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