Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
