And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
