chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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