Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
