Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Someone shattered a urinal.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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