I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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