what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
