it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
being pregnant is like rehab
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
