You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
