i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"