um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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