you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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