On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize