Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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