This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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