Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
