I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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