Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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